Chronic Fagatosis
Posted on July 10, 2003 in LifeIt's Thursday night and I'm about to slap my drinking hat on so I decide to call up a few friends I haven't seen in ages. Unfortunately a few of my friends have caught this awful disease called Chronic Fagatois. I'm sure you all have a similar situation.
My Friend, I will for shits and giggles call him "Pete". Pete used to love to go out any night to hang out with buddies, drink a few beers, participate in any and all debauchery of a GNO (Guys Night Out). Pete was fortunate enough to find himself in a relationship with a very nice woman a few months ago. Since the beginning of the relationship I have not seen hide nor hair of Pete. He sold his balls and placed them in a mason jar under the sink we think. Now he doesn't return phone calls and when you do finally catch up to him and ask him to go out. He instantly has plans and is to busy to participate in whatever you are doing. That my friends is chronic fagatosis.
Main Entry: chron·ic fagatosis
Pronunciation: 'krä-nik faghä-toesis
Function: noun
Useage: “Johnny has Chronic Fagatosis, so he will not be coming to the Bar tonight”
1. The ability to elude any phone calls pertaining to “guys night out”
2. A strong urge to; bake anything, go to a mall on a Friday Night, repeat the word “cute” or “silly”, make appointments at the local hairstylist, watch the movie chocolate', dance to 90's hit songs like "Dancing Queen"
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Previous Comments
I believe the correct spelling is "Chronic Faggatosis" the second "G" is something that cannot be ommitted. Doing so, implies a New York City accent. Like "raendom blaeck", but kudos on the submission, Besides the other spelen eroars.
i believe a really bad stand-up that you know came up with term "chronic fagatosis."
also, chronic fagatosis can become terminally fatal. so be careful.
Yeah, he makes you want to buy bleach and pour it in your ears! He sucks.
I see you managed to turn on that paper weight that was collecting dust on your desk. To make capital letters, Try using the shift key.
Just spreadin' the love ...
Hmm..by any chance Eric, is there a "bug" version of this?? Because if memory does serve me correctly, "we" tried getting you to go out one night...and I think your answer had something to do with.."checking with the girlfriend". . :-x
No Chronic Fagatosis is like VD. You can go into remission for a while, but usually when you have it usually is for years at a time.
Missing one guys night out does not qualify you for full blown Fagatosis. But it is an early warning sign and can easily be cured by a trip to the Foxy Lady or equivalent establishment of little clothing.
Hmm...got any ideas for an antidote for our good friend Joe P.???..lol
I do not have cronic fagatosis. I do have cronic homeworkatosis.
Amazingly for Joe P. Homeworkatosis seems to reoccur more on Fridays then any other part of the week. Homeworkatosis is not a disease but merely a shadow ailment for the true infliction - Missynoworkatosis - Missynoworkatosis is a rare disease thats main purpose in biology is to prevent any consumption of alcohol and partaking in joyous acts of female interaction. Missynoworkatosis is only noticable in the hours reciprocal to Joe P.'s girlfriends work schedule. The only known cure is large quantities imported beer and multiple lap dances.
Here Here!!!
Looks like somebody hit the nail on the head on this one. Will we ever find a cure for this horrible disabling ailment. Soon he may be drinking wine coolers talking about the “good ole days” of hanging from street signs!
Hahaha!!! Now now guys...maybe Joe doesnt have this horrible ailment. You guys ever think that maybe Missy did to him what we tend to do to our male pets??
I truly don't think that missy can be attributed for 100% of this infliction. As stated before, his nuggets may be in a mason jar under the sink along with some eggs and pickles. But he can take them for a walk once in a while.
Ouch. I suppose thats ok..as long as they are still "kicking around". Just as long as he doesnt get them confuse with the pickled eggs next to them, he should be fine.
Hey, Do you guys remember that one time when.......