I would like to take time out of my busy schedule, and discuss the meaning of PROVIDENCE. If you were to look up the meaning in the Oxford English Dictionary, you would find "God's Will." Although this is only the first and most commonly associated definition, I would like to add a few of my own.
For instance, PROVIDENCE - "a fine, detailed piece of wood that is widdled out of a Birch Tree. For example: Hey, Jimmy can I stick a Providence up your ass and pretend that it's a pepper biscuit made by Father Wilson? My second entry would be, PROVIDENCE - "a moist, pastry, in the shape of a turtle that is served as dessert." For example: Hey, Jimmy can I stick a piece of Providence up your ass and pretend that it's a pepper biscuit made by Father Wilson.
In conclusion, when you are in jail make good friends. Because hairy oysters don't taste like they sound, and starring in the first in-house prison sex video entitled "GHOSTBUSTERS" leaves you with a sore ass and a family full of black men.