If you know me, and somebody asked you to describe me you would reply with something like the following.

“Oh Web? Yeah I know that cat, hes a kool-ass mofo, and he really knows his beer.”

I don’t read many books for entertainment, and I am really cynical when it comes to movies and television shows. Beer is what I know. Today at lunch, I looked up at the menu, and under “specials” I noticed a new beer that I have not tried before. Anheuser World Select. I exclaimed in a gleeful tone “Doris, I think it’s about time we met”

When I first poured it’s golden good-ness into the pilsner glass (instead of drinking from the bottle, to achieve maximum “flavour”) the color, not to much of my surprise closely resembled most of the rest of the Anheuser-Busch product line. (Budweiser, Michelob, Bush and the ever college popular cheeeeepo, Natty Lite) I waited a moment to watch the beverage effervescently glow in the light from the bar. Ensuring not to inhale any carbonization via my nasal cavity. At first when I placed my lips to the glass and took a small sip, I noticed that it tasted like Budweiser? “HOGWASH” I exclaimed. I then proceeded to take an increasingly larger sip, yet all I could taste was that all too familiar Budweiser tin can taste. I then tried the ever popular CHUG test and BY GOLLY. It’s BUDEWISER!!!

I looked at the bottle to make sure that the Barkeep wasn’t trying to pull the wool over my eyes. Yet the container persisted to inform me that I would be the lucky recipient of a “world-class beer”!

World Class?? How about White Trash? All I could think is the 10 or so experts from around the world they “supposedly” rallied together to create this waggery of a “world class beer”. If you travel anywhere outside of the USA in search of a beer, it more closely resembles a Samuel Adams than it does a self proclaimed “King of Beers”. I have a hard time believeing that 10 people from around the worl banged their heads on a table for 8 months to re-create budwiser.

Folks, this is the exact reason why I cant stand marketing. They have a product, and like a used car salesman, they tell you what THEY think you want to hear in order for you to slap your hard earned $12.50 on the table. I wont say that I am all to surprised with the outcome of this situation.

Don’t get me wrong, If im feeling white trashy, and I want to sit and watch a tractor pull, or NASCAR hell ill pony up and buy a 40 of Budwiser. But when I want a tasty beverage, it may be one of the last on the list, along with a Private Stock.

I regret to report that the Anheuser World Select is nothing more than a cheap marketing ploy to rob you of your otherwise well spent money.

On a happier note, on to Harpoonfest this weekend!! There will be some REAL beer.