Part I - Idiots

What I can’t stand is incompetence. That will make me crack I am sure of it. You can be lazy, boring or even kind of stupid, but please don’t be incompetent. Be responsible; take accountability for your actions. It drives me crazy each whenever I happen upon these people. Some of us can’t help it, we call them idiots. An idiot refuses to find some sort of stability in their daily routine. For example, we’ve all lost something at one point or another. A driver’s license, keys, hats, etc. Just about anything you use on a daily basis. Most of us, upon misplacing something once or twice, will develop a system that will almost certainly prevent it from happening again. An idiot, however, will not. An idiot will conjure up excuse after excuse of why it was lost, but lose it again and often. Some idiots will go as far to say that they can’t help it, and they will not or cannot change. Then they become a Moron.

Part II - Morons

Morons do not learn from their mistakes, nor are they able to adapt to their environment. A lot of stupidity goes into being a moron. A little stupid is ok; a lot of stupid is not. Take this for example; “Every time I drive to the city, I get a speeding ticket. That frigging cop is always sitting under that same damn bridge! It’s my third ticket this month!” A moron’s inability to change his routine by not slowing down automatically deems him an idiot, but his stupidity to keep getting a ticket in the same spot each time earns them the right of Moron.

Part III - Assholes

Fortunately, I’m an asshole. I wouldn’t have it any other way. An asshole is nice, but rude. An asshole is polite, yet condescending. Above all, an asshole is selfish with a giving nature. At least, that’s the type of asshole I am. Asshole comments are quite common amongst us. Commenting in such a nice, rude way is the trick to the art of being an asshole. Example: “That’s a great sweater….it would look even better crumpled up next to my bed.” Complementing, yet forward enough to warrant a slap, and without even swearing! Polite to condescending: “let me get that door for you, you fat bastard!” and lastly, selfish to giving: “I want to buy all the liquor and cook all the food for the party, because I don’t want any of you stupid, moronic idiots to fuck it up!”