As you all probably know, this website receives billions tons hundreds very few reader emails. My buddy Mike has decided to take it upon himself to answer some questions for women everywhere.

Official Disclaimer:
I was held at gunpoint for 3 hours before posting this. This in no way reflects my views, ideas, shaving techniques or thoughts. Please send all hate mail to ghagenda@aol.com

Gentlemen, these simple words are spewed by us millions and millions of times. Actually the more you ask them, the worse your relationship is. To be honest, we really don’t care what wrong we just know that a fight needs to happen and we might as well get it over with. Now tell me why we have to ask it like 7 times before we get a reply. “Is something wrong?”, “No”. This goes on and on until they feel we have asked it enough. I truly believe they are schooled in the art of mind games. And when we find out what wrong we get mad and defensive and they have the nerve to say “ That why I didn’t want to tell you, because I knew you’d just get mad”. What? What? Am I supposed to listen to you say things that are totally made up in your little head and give them confirmation? If I told you your hair was green and it was red, would you just sit there and nod approvingly? And what are they usually mad about, well here’s a list compiled from my life and friends lives.

Quality Time.

This one kills me. “I see you every day but we don’t spend any QUALITY TIME”. Are you kidding me with this one? What in Gods name is QUALITY TIME. Because I can’t name a single guy I know who knows what it is. If we come home from work exhausted and we sit on the couch to unwind and they drop that one on us, we should throw tantrums like 5 year olds. Can I please sit down for two minutes? Please?

Your always with your friends.

Look just because Im not so damn catty that I can’t keep more than one friend doesn’t mean I’m wrong for wanting to hang out. When I hang out with my friends they don’t harass me. And if they do, I can tell them to f@ck themselves and I won’t have to apologize for it, for two weeks.

Are you looking at the girl?

Yes. Yep, uh- huh, definitely. But we always say, nope. Dead give away? When a hot girl walks by , ladies look and see if your man stops talking and completely pretends to stare at something else. If so, he’s already seen it coming and knows that troubles brewing.

Sex

I don’t have enough room on this one, but let me give you an example. Girls can wear outfits for sex. They want romance. Kiss the right spots, get them going. All we do is drop our pants, even leave our socks on, and jump In bed. And how come we can’t say “How about a blowjob”? Why is that wrong? If they said “ Wanna go down on me after dinner?” We’d be like, “Yes, Yep, Uh-huh, definitely”.

So in conclusion, the next time we’re in one of these situations let’s just be honest with them. Stop them short and say, :Im not going to keep asking you what wrong. I don’t wanna play this game. Grow up. Tell me what wrong. I like my friends, its not my fault you don’t have as many, Yes Im looking at the hot girl, if I dint look at hot girls Id be gay, and Look I just wanna have sex and then we can go watch TV. Food, sports, video games, big TVS, ladies we have needs too.