Reality Bytes
Posted on May 27, 2004 inThe unfortunate reality is, reality TV isn't going away anytime soon. What I think is the funniest thing about reality TV is not the characters lives or the situations they get themselves into. Its the life they try to portray in entertainment after their Reality TV show is off the air.
Now every time I see a music video with Jessica Simpson, of MTV's Newlyweds fame, I laugh uncontrollably. Jessica seemingly tries to combat her stigma of stupidity, by posing in the video doing a crossword puzzle or pondering life as she is burying her nose in a trigonometry book. You just feel like saying "Listen, We know your dumb, the cat's out of the bag."
There is also a commercial of Anna Nicole Smith where she isn't being a total nazi bitch, stumbleing, ordering everyone around while she slams down a dozen quaaludes and gets loaded on $5.00 bottles of wine. GASP! Who woulda thunk?
Once you see the "real" life of one of these "superstars" (both terms used very lightly), you realize that they put their pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. Most of the time you realize that they are incredible idiots that managed to haphazardly walk into millions of dollars and fame.
Excluded is Donald Trump, that guy is the MAN and that thing on his head isint a wig.
I'm not saying I could do what they do professionally, but at least I know what Tuna is and how to do my own friggin laundry.
So a word to the wise for any wanna be reality TV actors out there. Be prepared to be classified as an idiot, junky, bitch, loser or stuck up bloody asshole when all the smoke clears.
And is $50,000 really worth eating raw bull penis, gagging on the "juices" then hurling in a bucket all on TV for all your friends and family to watch in super-slow motion on Tivo?
Oh mom! Slow this part down .. This is when the testicle pop's in my mouth and the seminal fluid trickles down my throat ..
HOT, I'm all set. Thanks

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if you want reality i think you should just put a camera in your house and watch yourself some day when you are sober ( i know i know i said sober). you guys could deffinately have something there....maybe the next hit show....
[Matt gets hit with a bucket of green slime]
Remember a show on Nickelodeon called "You cant do that on television"? When people said "I don't know" they got hit with a pail full of green slime. Well that rings true for the word "sober" around here.
If we put a camera in the house I would probally learn way too much about my roomates. "That's where that smell is coming from."
I was thinking about installing a live "Bar Fongoul cam", but I dont think anyone would ever check it out.
24 hour live cam? good idea!!! that may be the funniest thing ever!!
ahem...I may have to sue for copyright infringement for "Bar Fongul" on behalf of my myself and my associates. Please refrain from using, speaking, writing, typing, gesturing, thinking, signing, telepathically sending or any other type of body language or communication of the name "Bar Fongul" from this point forward until further notified.
Thank You.
Not untill you get your shit outta the basement Thrill.
Just because you're not there dosen't mean I can't keep the flame alive. It's the same bar, just missing Captain America and Big Buddy. I believe I am doing you a service keeping your livelyhood alive, and I also think I am doing a fantastic job at it.
Bar Fongul has never looked so good. Not even when you were at the helm .. you should be proud, not angry.
Whoa Medium Buddy! Whoa! Don't mistake my coy, witty tone for one of negativity. I was just lookin' fo' da props in my previous comment. BB & Capt. A., yes we have left the perverbial nest, but only to go on to enrich ourselves. Shame on you MB, for firing back defensively, shame on you for not seeing the friendly sarcasm and creative wit I have provided for you. On behalf of MY Big Buddy & myself, we think you have done a splendid job with the bar. The origin of the name "Bar Fongul" was originated back in 1996, and it was another buddy that helped create the name. We are proud to have you keep the name alive. You have done well grasshopper, but still much to learn....and the stuff in the basement will stay there until we are good and ready to get it out! ;)
Casino night is coming....
Ah Master Thrill, Maybe you are the one confused by my sharp sarcasm and quick wit.
Maybe it is time that the young Padwan challenge the Master to a duel of sorts. My skills have un-doubtly been tested and dignified.
If you smell a fire, don’t wonder what’s burning.
Anybody need some used preamps, speakers and miscellaneous band equipment?
All your poker chips are belong to us.
Ahhhh grasshopper, your words are strong, but are your skills fit to battle? Fire knows no adversaries, it burns all. Confused I am not, experienced I am. You have much to learn grasshopper, for this reason, I will take you down quickly and without remorse. Dont f@!k with the Master.
I am the godfather of Bar Fongul. I have no problem with its legacy living on in another house. But maybe there should be a black and white picture of me and the original guys drinking a schlittz. thoughts to ponder.
I would be honored to have such a piece of artwork at the Bar. Then when the bar is passed on .. maybe we can have our photo of us drinking schlittz next to your photo. Mike do you have a photo?
i smell a challenge....from a young laddy whom i havent seen in a very long time...something tells me he is much out of practice.
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