It is unfortunate, but getting old doesn’t happen over night like puberty. It’s a long drawn out series of events, each bringing you one step closer to that long dirt nap. There are lot of gray areas (and hairs) associated with getting old … I wanted to share a few of mine.

I can remember the exact moment I felt old for the first time. It wasn’t when I drove myself to the mall, graduated high school, or when I woke up and said “Hot damn, I could go for some raisin-oatmeal”

Nope, It was when I picked up everybody’s favorite guy magazine, flipped to the most beautiful piece of folded paper to ever grace the center of a magazine and read that she was two years younger than me.

Yeah I was 20 and I thought my life had ended because my life long dream of making it into playboy was officially over.

Since that moment my hair has picked up and moved south, inviting relatives to move into new areas in areas I didn’t know hair was supposed to be. My dad and I agree on more subjects than we disagree now. I also have to stretch as if I was about to run a marathon before I do anything athletic like moving furniture for fear of “blowin’ a hammy.”

Every now and then I realize that time is passing by very quickly. 25 will come and go in a few months and I’ll be closer to 30 than 20.

I am the second of four children with an age gap of about a year and a half between us all. My beautiful little sister turned 21 a few weeks ago and now I can’t call her little anymore. She is now (and has been for quite some time) a beautiful young woman.

Most of my friends are now either married or on their way to being married. Albeit some of them are a few years older than myself, but I almost know less single guys than I do married ones.

I avoid clubs I used to love going to because there are “a bunch of young dickheads there.”

I don’t listen to the same radio stations I used to, because they play all crap music that only pimply teenagers listen to. I dread malls, PG-13 movies, carnivals/festivals and anywhere else large numbers of teenagers gather.

I know some of you are laughing because I’m only 24 but I can see middle age coming, have some sympathy people.

This all 1 day before Jon turns 26 .. maybe I should buy him a hemroid donut.

Happy Birthday Jon, you geriatric.

PS. Speaking of Birthday’s .. We are having a kick-ass party for Jon on Saturday. If you are in the RI/MASS area and would like to attend .. just drop me a line. The more, the merrier.