It's time to Jerk Off!
Posted on October 01, 2004 in LifeIt was one of those conversations that you somehow have when your about 11 beers deep into a night. The kind of conversation (and website post) you could only share with beer drinking buddies and anonymous internet viewers. (Hint: Family, Co-workers and possible future in-laws)
The question:
“What was the worst thing you ever jerked off to?”
Unfortunately seeing as this is my website, I am the only participant not granted the good fortune of internet animosity, so im going to be a big boy here and fess up. Being male and in my mid 20’s, with credit cards, the internet and porn, lately it has been all pretty standard stuff.
However, when you’re younger [underage], you have no choice but to be a little more creative on where your “inspiration” comes from, or suffer. I can remember, probably all too well, two of the lowest points of my life. Crankin’ it to Denise Austin’s workout videos on ESPN early one Sunday morning and watching 7 of 9, of "Star Trek: Voyager" fame, parade around in skin tight spandex.
Surprisingly, most of my friends agreed with me which somehow made me feel awkwardly comfortable.
Then one of my roommates, whom asked to remain un-named, proudly blurted out …
“The Golden Girls!!”
[Insert un-controllable laughter, people rolling on the floor and people wetting their pants here]
When questions on why the hell would you EVER jerk off to The Golden Girls he simply replied.
“What?!? There was nothing else was on and It was time to Jerk off!”
Somehow .. it all made sense.
But still scenes of Bea Arthur, walking into the room in a nun’s outfit just doesn’t do it for me
How about you, anonymous internet visitor?
RSS (2.0)
Previous Comments
Sometimes there's babes showing off nice stuff on QVC. I mean.. when I was younger there were babes on QVC... see what i mean
Golden Girls? Issues. While pondering this topic, I was surprised that the Facts of Life girls weren't suggested. I mean, they cover all styles, and even Mrs. Garrett for you geriatric fans.
This is in not an acknowledgement or admission that FoL is my answer to the question, which in fact I will leave unanswered.
Sure John! You know Tootie was a hottie!
it was hard to explain to my mom why the shouts of 'Oh yes Tootie" were coming from the bathroom.
WTF?
New post plz
yes, its time to 86 this crap.
Nothing like a little Univision -- Sabado Gigante can get interesting in the evening.
Nothing like a little Univision -- Sabado Gigante can get interesting in the evening.
1) The Brady Bunch
(I lusted for Marcia)
2) Denise Austin
(I still do sometimes)
3) Scramblevision
(Sometimes Spice would pop through)
4) Any hot chick being interviewed on Leno/Letterman
5) The tape I had when my next door neighbor taped Summerslam for me on his black box and let it run...there was like three soft cores on there!
Found your site from another blog and wanted to see where I could find more info
worst thing i ever jack off to is full house.
The weirdest thing was a Lazytown video.... that girl in her tights and all.
LOL. Lazytown! OMG! ..... you freak!
... me too!
my computer monitor.(my friends wife face)..
man! the was a mean ass nut!
The girls from Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball. They're not even real lol.. but hot ;)
well this one time there was nothing on so i masturbated to the little mermaid! man, she's cartoon and all but HOT.
im 39 and still jo to denise austin she is so hot.
also buffy the vampire slayer is a great jo
finally my best friends wifes panties... mmmmmmmm
The Sims 2 where you could make them have sex and take showers
Man you people are sickos . That get no girls . What were girls made for besides cleaning and washing ? Dont they got got boobs , sometimes fat twaps and fat butts . What else you get in mind when you see those things !! Break itt down !