Captain Welfare
Posted on November 11, 2004 inIt never ceases to amaze me how stupid some people can be. Today on my commute to work I stopped at a gas station to put gas in my car. When I was in the middle of funding an Middle-Eastern dictator (filling my car with gas), I noticed a lot of commotion, noise and honking coming from the street behind me.
I turned around to see what was going on and a Black 1987ish Ford Topaz spewing smoke from the engine was traveling 5mph holding up at least 10 cars behind it.
Now normally I would feel bad for this person, assuming that he couldn’t afford a reliable car .. but unfortunately this wasn’t the case here.
In the front seat are two, for lack of a better word, Wiggaz’ with their hats cocked sideways, slouched down in their seats, with the radio cranked up to undoubtedly to drown out the honking cars behind them.
This car looked like it just came out of an episode of MTv’s new hit show “How to Pimp a Shitbox and fail horribly.”
This car had 16 or 17 inch chrome rims, a sound system rattling the decaying windows, fake chrome accents around all the door panels and wheel wells and limo tint included with one large Japanese symbol in the back window which probably meant “Dumb Americans”. It would also be safe to assume that they had those cliché windshield washer lights too which value I have yet to realize.
The overall value of all the “accessories” that this genius placed in his car easily was worth 10 times the value of the car itself. He could have easily financed/purchased a more reliable vehicle, if not fairly new car that was made in the past 5 years.
Einstein rather wisely might I add, decided to spend at max $300 for this peach of a car. Then dropped $2,000 on dubs (that’s Jigga for 20’ rims), at least another $500 for a ball vibrating stereo. He probably then proceeded to steal the rest of the stuff from a auto parts store.
Of course all this information is assumed. But from the signs of his blatant ignorance, by not pulling over to let the other cars pass him, we can assume this guy doesn’t worry himself with the concerns of other people needing to get to work.
I know that he isn’t solely to blame because he lives in a society where those things listed above are idolized in rap videos and the entertainment business.
And we all know “dat you ain’t gonna’ to get no fly bitches all up in yo grill” by driving a 96 Honda Accord, going to school and getting and education.

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the value of the washer light things is that you can see them coming from a greater distance, thereby allowing you to start pointing and laughing more quickly.
i personally prefer the "tireflies," the little light-up things that replace the valve caps on your tires. usually at least one goes out within a day. unbalanced glowing hoosier plastic shit is the new sophisticated symmetry.
This sucked, but the tits made up for it.
so i take it you saw me and thrill cruisin this morning?
thats probably a "phat ride" in their hood. the smoke is actually intended...it's like the neon undercar lights for the daytime. and the slow cruise is so all the homies can see them "mackin". i bet all the bitches think they are fly chillin in that "phat whip". yo web dont hate the player hate the game.
oh yeah....and the new pepsi blows!
it makes you sick........from what i hear
You're jealous Eric. First off they were probably fine, outstanding young men. When are you going to stop this self hate of the white man? Long live cars that go BOOM. Oh and , yes, yes, the new Pepsi made me sick. It is the worst tasting drink i have ever tried. I should have listened more to the fact its a "spicy" cola. Spicy doesnt mix with cola. It tasted like someone put a bag of hot fries in my pepsi. So please , Eric, try some and post a story on that. Actually i dare you all to try it and respond.
"Dumb Americans." LOL