Announcement: Umm, Attention passengers waiting for the 6:25 train to Providence on Track 3. A Rock Golem has emerged from the earth and is now throwing molten lava at the train as he is eating the fleeing passengers. The MBTA Police are aware of the situation and are responding accordingly. The train will be delayed by 5 or 10 minutes, we are sorry for this inconvenience.

Me: At least the excuses are getting better.