Forgetting something?
Posted on April 11, 2005 in Rants
On television the other day I saw yet another Coca-Cola® commercial, but this wasn’t your run of the mill, P.C. “Coke makes you happy cuz’ its got good shit in it fo’ ya brotha” commercial. This was launching the next big product from Coca-Cola® that will revolutionize the beverage industry. This coke wasn’t carb. free, sugar free, vanilla flavored, spicy, cherry (which admittedly is fuggin’ awesome), diet that doesn’t taste like diet, caffeine free or even human finger free! It was new and improved with … fucking lime?!?
I can’t tell you how many times I have ordered a coke and said, you know what this is missing -- fake lime flavoring, that would be great! Oh wait -- yes I can, zero.
I can remember having had a lime in my coke many a time, but there was this other fantastic thing in it called Rum. You can’t do the lime thing without the Rum, it just doesn’t work.
Here is a piece of shocking news, the thing that makes a Rum and coke soo good, it isn’t the piece of 5 day old hardened lime. Coke and Lime without Rum is sort of like Cheech without Chong without weed – not funny, broke and is the asspuppet of some large cell mate named Curly. [Editors Note: I’m sure you are all glad to know that I have just added “Asspuppet” into my Microsoft Word dictionary of correctly spelled words]
The first cola company to package up shots of spiced rum and real lime wedges in a 20oz bottle for $6.99 will make … [please hold while calculating $6.99 multiplied by a bazillion units] … Oh yeah, a fuckload of money.
Stop trying to make something out of nothing. Like lime flavored Tostidos®, Tostidos® are fantastic the way they are -- don’t fuck them up! It’s too easy to mistakenly grab a bag of Tostidos® thinking they were plain (because what other flavor would they fucking be?) only to go home and be pissed all day because you wasted $3.99 on a bag of lime flavored asschips.
In related bitching on other flavors(foods) that don’t belong together we have; Peanuts in green beans (except Mrs. Coletta’s because they are fantastic), mushrooms in eggs, walnuts in Brownies, Anchovies and anything, Mayonaise with fries and of course live goldfish in beer.
Yeah, who would have thought live fish in beer to be disgusting?
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Sometimes, I think you just need to bitch about anything. Coke with lime sounds like a pretty good idea. Plus the commercial is catchy and rememberable. I'm willing to bet you only saw it once. Tostido's with lime are excellent. It adds a nice touch of flavor instead of just dried up corn. Lime is not bad for you. If you bottle up rum, coke and lime and sold it for $6.99 a bottle, it wouldn't sell. It would taste like shit, i.e. like an "asspuppet" Ever try to eat an ass my friend? (Don't answer that) I do not consider you to be an authority on the subject of food, and I do not agree with this particular article. Write an article on how I can transfer my OS to Windows XP, without losing any of my files. Tell me how to get free web porn videos without my credit card (that are longer than 42 seconds in length) Tell me how to get cheat codes for ::insert any PS2 game:: These are the things I know you have "the smarts" about. Am I Forgetting Something? P.S. I haven't watched, but I heard the Red Sox look fat from the off-season. Maybe it was too many rum and cokes?
Peanuts in green beans??? EEeeewwwww, what kind of a wacko do you think I am? They happened to have been slivered almonds in the green beans which is probably why you liked them better than you thought you would. Also, don't knock flavors that don't seem to go together till you've tried them. A perfect example of this is my special (not that kind of special!) brownies with green chilis. Yumm! :-D And since this isn't a recipe board I won't even get into the many uses of cocoa................
I would like to add a " bitching on other flavors(foods) that don’t belong together".
The new Domino's "Cheeseburger Pizza"
Reminds of an old posting of mine ... Purple Goldfish
How about figuring out how not to kill me with high fructose corn syrup and aspartame. Spent the extra 1 cent a can and use real sugar.
The missus requested that cheeseburger pizza this weekend, so we got it. Then we learned it has American & Provolone cheese. She couldn't take more than two bites. American Cheese just doesn't belong on a pizza.
Don't discount pepperoni and pineapple pizza until you've had it though.