The iPod craze is sweeping the nation .. everybody’s got one. There are many sites out there dedicated to other things you can do with your iPod like store files on it but I want to mention one hidden benefit that I have not heard anybody else talk about. Most normal people don’t talk to you when you are wearing headphones – and if they do you can ignore some of them.

Wait – before you get all up in a tizzy about people screaming for help and me ignoring them – read on.

Many times I forget to charge my iPod so the battery is dead (like now) and when you commute to work like I do and need to sit next to annoying people (like now) if you aren’t wearing any protection (headphones) someone may decide to gab your ear off for a full hour and fifteen minutes.

Also if this does happen anytime you see them on the train they feel the need to ask you all the same questions again because they know they talked to you but they were not listening. People do not know how to take subtle hints and I’m not mean enough to tell people I don’t feel like talking to them. So I sit there and nod thinking all the other things I would rather be doing than listen to this person talk about nothing.

I mean its fucking 8:04AM!!! Didn’t you bring something on the train to keep you preoccupied like I did? Sorry -- I don’t care about your wife’s sister’s transsexual boyfriend whom had a computer at one point but got it taken away by the FBI because he was downloading kiddie porn.

Reading a book is not enough, you need to block out the outside world completely. To avoid a catastrophe like this make sure you have either a laptop or a book, your iPod with headphones on and I have found out people are even less likely to talk to you if you also wearing sunglasses and a tee shirt that says “fuck off”.

Listen I’m not anti-social .. but there are only so many times that you can entertain others (because that what you are doing) with the general ‘where do you live’ and ‘where do you work’ general bullshit before you come to dread it.

On days where my iPod is not charged, or its forgotten at home or in the car .. I always have a spare set of headphones in my back for just such an occasion. They do not know if you are actually listening to something or not .. but your intentions are clear.

Sometimes you get somebody whom is really ambitious and will try to talk to you even with the headphones on. If this happens wait a few moments (this is key) while they are looking at you and talking.. then slowly remove the headphones and say “I’m sorry I did not hear you, I WAS WEARING THESE HEADPHONES!”

Try to answer their question and then as quickly as possible put the headphones back on and turn the music up. This should send the message to them that you are not interested in chatting about their cat “Ophelia” whom just had surgery to remove a four pound hairball.