How to shake a hand
Posted on June 30, 2006 in LifeThe handshake is usually the first thing you do when you meet someone for the first time, so it’s directly related to people's “first impressions” of you. I have never seen a definitive guide on how to give a good handshake, I do not know if one exists – but I have been told that I have a good one.
It’s interesting how many people I meet on a day to day basis whom give awful handshakes and have no clue there tossing you a “dead fish”. A good handshake can exibit self confidence, health, strength and genuine interest in meeting the other person.
There is now an approximate total of 231 variations of the “original handshake” they include multiple variations of hand to hand contact and may or may not include a “modifier” like; touching chest’s, snapping fingers, one arm around the back, touching knuckles, rubbing elbows, high fives, shaking each others feet and a salami sandwich.
Here I intend to describe how to give a good “original handshake” which will aid you in business and friendship, this is the standard shake and can be the launching point for other modifiers as described above.
Note: Do not assume this tutorial is meant for men alone, women are equally guilty of giving shitty handshakes as men.
The “Original” HandshakeWhen introduced to someone extend the right hand halfway between you and the person you are meeting -- “the target”. There should be 2-4 feet of distance between you and the target and all your fingers should be touching each other. Your thumb and index finger should create a 90° angle and your hand should be pointed slightly at the floor.
Make eye contact with the target and smile. If you were not introduced by someone else, begin to announce in a loud audible voice a greeting and your name (as you would like to be referred to as) and if needed any personal information you think may help them remember who you are.
“Hello, Nice to meet you. I am Eric. I work with Michelle on the Smith account”
Note: Its important to keep it short, because this will be directly related on “how long” you need to shake hands for.
This is key to a good handshake and the part that people normally get wrong. The first part of your hand to make contact is the webbing on your thumb, and it should contact the target’s webbing on their thumb. This insures proper hand positioning for the duration of the shake.
Once you have made first contact, you then should slightly point your hand further twards the ground and wrap your fingers around the target’s palm.
Another key to a good handshake is to stiffen your wrist a little and to apply pressure by gripping the target’s hand firmy. The amount of pressure should depend on the target. You do not want to cause the target any pain or discomfort – that’s why you need to understand who’s hand your shaking. But a good handshake grip should apply enough pressure so that someone would have problem prying your hands apart if they tried.
Note: If I’m trying to intimidate someone (little sister’s new boyfriend) the amount pressure can increase as you seem fit.
This is when the “shake” in the handshake happens, the shake is the last dance so make it a good one. With a stiff wrist, move the target’s hand (and arm) up and down 2 or 3 times, this should last about 3 to 4 seconds.
This is where you either release the other persons hand, or more recently move into a “handshake modifier” as described above. The first time I meet someone I stick with the Original, no use in trying to improvise a modifier if you do not know that person well. Usually modifiers are similiar amongst friend groups, once you are amongst one’s friends and have witnessed a modified greeting, you may attempt to reproduce that greeting.
Note: Every once in a while you meet a person whom spends to long introducing themselves, that’s why the grip is important. If someone has hijacked your hand, simply discontinue applying pressure to the other persons hand, this should be a signal to the other person that you have fulfilled your duty of the handshake. If they continue to hold your hand, clutch your chest with your left hand and fall to the ground as if you were having a heart attack, they will let go.
So that’s it. Now you can stop throwing dead fish at people!
Be safe and enjoy this holiday weekend. Happy 4th.
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Previous Comments
The handshake break down occurs for me when I shake the hand of a woman. You know you need to to modify your grip some. I am 6'2" and have a good sized hand, when you shake a 5'2" woman's hand there is a good size difference.
I don't really judge handshakes anymore aside from 1. The guy who tries to be the tough guy and squeeze your hand off. I consider this over compensation for some other deficiency they must have.
The one that I like is "The Presidential"
It's executed by shaking someones hand with a traditional grip, then taking your other hand, and place it over the grip of the existing handshake, whilst slightly turning the hand that originated the handshake to one side and shaking with both grips intact. No harm or discomfort should come to your fellow hand-shaker. Once mastered, it should be executed in one fluid motion. This gives the impression of power and control. It's used by a lot of politicians when on the campaign trail, hereby dubbing the it "The Presidential"
I hate it when the other persons handshake is like a dead/limp fish. You go in, you wrap around, you apply pressure, and it's just there! It's limp and doing nothing. Aaaagh!
P.S. Are you debugging? When I click preview it alerts the typeof of some element.
K FIRSTIST OF ALLS, U PEOPLE, SHOULDNT EVEN BE RUBBING YOUR HANDS.YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR SHOES AND SOCKS OF, AND RUB YOUR FEET TOGERTHER, SMUSH THEM, FOOT WRESTLE, BITE EACH OTHERS SMELLY, SWEATY FEET, THEN, THATS YOUR REAL FOOTSHAKE.
Steve's got a great follow-up to your post here: http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000561.php.
"The bottom in the relationship ..." Priceless.
My question is, does this apply to women as well? I'm assuming that it would apply this way to a woman shaking another womans hand, but what about a woman shaking a man's hand. Should we be more gentle (feminine)? Or should we use the same pressure as a man would in our position?
I hate women that give me the deadfish handshake... but so many of them do it, that I wonder if this is how a woman is SUPPOSED to shake hands.
professional handshakes with womenshould be with the thumb toward the ceiling, not a hand-kissing position. as a man offering a professional handshake to a woman, do not go limp fish even if the woman is limp fish. no hand crushing necessary. adjust the pressure and keep that thumb to the ceiling.
I have two kinds of hand shakes.
1. The firm(infact STRONG) grip for friends with a smile(almost laugh)
2. While shaking hands with a lady though, whielst appling almost the same pressure, I simple grip only the ladies fingers not the complete palm. And I think its quite a decent style. What say?
Dear All, Hanshake is ALL about showing someone ( the one with whom u are shaking hands) the ENERGY/ WAVE LENGTH match....remember there is no choice of showing the difference of energy in a Professional handshake since the target is the BUSINESS done. One just needs to carry the pressure if its Good from other end and if not put a little more energy to create the energy.....THE SAME WAVE LENGTH will help you reflect genuine interest, Confidence, Strength and Interest.
Do not try modifiers at the first meeting it may reflect a casual persona.
Good Luck!
Yogita Yash
Corporate Trainer/ Educational Consultant
Yogita,
First -- thanks for the comment.
Allow me to level some criticism -- if you want to sound professional and or educated .. try not to use the letter "u" when you actually mean "you"
I know this is just texting habits but it really makes a difference on how you are perceived.
my .02 cents.
ACCODING TO SOME PERSON SHAKING HAND WITH WOMEN IS JUST TO TOUCH THE FINGERS ONLY BUT I HAVE SOME DIFFERENT OPINION ACCORDING TO ME THEIR IS NO GENDER BAISESNESS . ONE SHOLD SHAKE HAND WITH WOMEN IN SIMILAR FASHION AS ONE DO WITH MEN.