The Mystery of the .. uhh .. Mystery Box
Posted on August 21, 2006 in LifeI received a phone call from my brother Joe last week claiming he had “something” for me and the next time I was in the Providence area, to swing by his apartment to pick it up. After an awesome long weekend on the Cape with Lisa I stopped by yesterday afternoon.
Upon arrival and bullshitting with him for a few minutes Joe pointed to a box which is about 3 feet tall, 1.3 feet wide and 2 feet long and claimed that it was the thing he had told me about.
I asked what it was and he pointed to the box and said “read” -- the box is clearly labeled that cannot be opened until September 15th.
A mystery box!
Upon further inspection the box is in its original shipping material from wherever it came from – and suspiciously the location has been blackened out .. It seems to be the length as if it said “Made in China” so this may be a deception ploy because we know everything is made in China. The shipping label has clearly been removed from the box to keep its origin a secret.
The box is really heavy (about 80lbs) for the size of the box and knowing my brother -- who’s generosity is only outweighed by his -- lets call it “creative humor”. Because of this, I instantly assumed that I am lugging around a large box of lead pipes or of equal ball busting weight.
When I was lugging the box upstairs I could hear the faint noise of metal on plastic, or metal on metal contact. As soon as I was in my apartment I ran to my collection of DVD’s and shook a few of them – it unfortunately sounded nothing like the noise I just heard. I guess that rules out what could have been the most uber impressive porn collection ever.
I really am dumfounded on what it could be, Joe seemed really excited to pass this box off on me -– so either way I’m sure I’m going to get a kick out of what’s inside the box.
The date of September 15th has something to do with this surprise I think .. but for the life of me I am not sure what. The 15th holds no special significance to me (that I can think of) .. the only thing I can think of is that the football season opens on the 10th – 5 days prior?
It is not my birthday nor am I pregnant (I hope not -- although that would explain some things)
I’ll let you know on the 15th.
I have included a few photos of the mystery box.
Maybe Joe would entertain a two yes/no questions about the item(s) inside the box?
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Previous Comments
Firstly, I'm glad to see that the mystery box has made it to your website.
All I would like to say for now is that the date Sept. 15th does indeed have something do to with it (If it didn't, why would I put a date on there?)
Lisa, please don't tell Eric what it is.
I would entertain some yes/no questions.
For now all I want to say is that "you're going to get what's coming to you."
Please remember to feed the box once a day. It seems to like fried chicken. DO NOT FEED AFTER 12PM!
Interesting sentiments Joe. I'm not sure what I "have comming to me" but I am a firm believer that we all get whats coming to us at some point.
The first feeding was fairly uneventful --
Lets see if I can narrow this down with two yes / no questions...
Is the item inside the box -- related to the computing industry?
Joe gives you a box with a date on it and wants it out of his house pronto?
I dont want to say call the Federales, but I'd have their number handy.
Is the item inside the box -- related to the computing industry?
No.
Some quick detective work tells me that September 15th is the first day of a three day series between the Yankees and your beloved Red Sox. Perhaps it's a baseball bat (and other equipment?...) symbolizing the trip he's taking you on to see the series at Yankee Stadium. What a nice brother.
I suppose it's only fitting that the great mystery writer Agatha Christie was born on September 15th.
Hi!
I just wanted to let you know that I think you have an awesome blog and to thank you for linking to my blog (the Corporate Lessons link).
Have a good one!
A quick look at Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/September_15) reveals, just as I suspected, that 9/15 is indeed the first day of school in Bulgaria.
Perhaps your brother has given you a Bulgarian school child, complete with books, pens, a machete and whatever else Bulgarian schoolchildren need to start their year.
Mystery solved!
It is also the day that Costa Rica celebrates its Independence Day. Maybe Joe is deporting you? jajajajaja....
I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW! NA NA NANANANANA!
Seeing that my first question was such a big flop I want to make sure I narrow down my choices correctly with my second.
The thing here throwing me off is the weight of the object. Its soo heavy it really is cutting down what it could be and it sounds somewhat mechanical.
Joe are you ready for the next question?
Could you purchase the item in the box from Circuit City/Best Buy? This includes special ordering.
Eric, you should totally ask if you can trade it all for what's behind door # 3.
Could you purchase the item in the box from Circuit City/Best Buy? This includes special ordering.
No, not in your wildest dreams. Not even the corperate whores at the brick and motar stores could even begin to fathom what is inside the box. If they did know, their service plans would literally explode into a ball of fames and empty promises.
I will give you a little hint that will only serve to confuse you more -- it can ONLY be purchased on "the online" (a.k.a. "AOL", a.k.a. "the internet")
Interesting -- That is what I' hoped you would say because that greatly reduced the number of things that I though it could be (AV Reciever, Powered Subwoofer, Electronic Chia Pet Carrot Top)
Are we entertaining on-line guessing (or is this a closed ballot type thing) -- what happens if I guess correctly?
Are we entertaining on-line guessing (or is this a closed ballot type thing)
I have no idea what you mean. You can keep guessing, and I'll keep answering.
what happens if I guess correctly?
I will lie and give you false intelligence, mis-information and otherwise bullshit you. That being said, you may be wondering if I have done so already. Maybe I have, or then again, maybe I think you know I didn't, and made you think that I just did in order to make you think that you shoulden't have thought that at all.
I still have no bearing on what September 15th holds. But I think I have a good idea on what it is.
Well I did learn that September 15 is the 258th day of the year (259th in leap years). There are 107 days remaining in the year. Maybe its a pony?? Other than that...I know what it is! hahahahaha....
Christina -- I think you knowing "exactly" what it was instantly is a big clue.