I know, I know – have not posted in a while, I miss you, you miss me, blah blah been busy curing cancer -- nobody cares, moving on.

While I have covered countless topics here over the years which could be filed under useless rants – I don’t think I touched upon this very important issue which exists in every company I have worked for.

People whom want to talk to you while going to the bathroom.

Everybody shits, I know. But while I’m trying to squeeze out last night’s late night burrito the last thing I want to talk about is a client deliverable – or anything for that matter.

This does not apply only for #2, #1 as well. Just because there is an open stall next to me – that does not mean I want you to strike up a conversation while you awkwardly try to make eye contact with me.

Mike said it best a while ago although I could not find the quote. “When hand on pee-pee, no talkee”

Sometimes you are just walking to the bathroom and someone takes the opportunity to walk and talk with you, and I am fine with this. But once you reach the door of the bathroom the conversation MUST BE paused and the real business must begin.

You cannot follow me into the bathroom and stand there talking to me while I pee, if you followed me through the halls and walked into the bathroom then realizing your error, post up to a urinal, fake a piss and shake then wash your hands and then wait outside.

The most awkward of this is the inter-stall communication. There is no excuse for this. If you were having an important conversation, which was interrupted by the call of nature, pause the conversation and regain it again once both parties are out of the bathroom.

If your worried about forgetting something and don’t have a pen and paper, you could always just scrawl it on the wall with urine.